Stories

Some quick ones to get you thinking!

Attorney Story – Word Aggressive - Pillar #1

When asking/referring a client to an attorney for divorce, I asked a family law attorney I know for a recommendation for an “aggressive” attorney and would she consider the case.

She gave me some names.  I asked why she didn’t want to potentially take the case.  She stated, “I am not what you would call an aggressive attorney, but I try to get what someone wants or deserves.”

I asked if she would mind a one minute coaching session.  She didn’t mind.

I introduced her to NCL Pillar #1 and asked if she felt she made an assumption on a particular word.  She said yes, on the word aggressive.  She was smart to catch that.

I said, very good.  So what should we do here.  She said, ask what they mean by aggressive.  Perfect.  And if they said when asked about that word that they just want an attorney to help them get what they want and deserve – sounds like you may be an ‘aggressive’ attorney by their definition.

She said, “Wow! We don’t even think of this stuff.”  Pretty impactful and this is just Pillar #1.

I asked, “How much business could this cost us in a year if we made assumptions that turned away business that maybe we could have got.”

She said, “A lot.”

Move the car – “Pull-in here” - Pillar #1

I was cleaning up at my Mother-In-Law's house. 

Wife’s car in driveway in front of my truck.  I asked her to move it, “pull-in over here.”  My thought was just to “back-up” into the yard where I indicated.

She got in and started to pull forward to turn the front of the car around to “pull-in.”  I thought she was crazy!  I questioned, why she didn’t just back up?

To her, pull-in means the front of the car.  I thought I was clear, and to me I was.  You see, with communication; it is not what we say – it is what people hear and interpret.

Think about how many situations at home and at work where we feel we were clear, but things didn’t get executed the way you thought.

----- don’t be assumptive!

Young Married Couple – Too Many Dishes - Pillar #1, #2

He feels they have too many dishes.  She feels differently and the kitchen is her domain!

After discussing this with both parties, I asked this question to him: “Help me understand your feeling of too many dishes?” 

He responded, “It is not too many dishes, it is we don’t have enough space for them.”

Now we have a different discussion!

I asked, “Is your wife’s happiness or fewer dishes relative to the space more important?”  You can imagine he answered correctly!

Both are right, but neither is hearing the other.  It was never really about the dishes.

Asking Questions - A little humor - Pillar #2

Comic – Ask people questions that give them an opportunity to talk about themselves.

What the heck is wrong with you?

Maybe not the best question for Pillar #2.

Light Bulbs - Pillar #1

I was testing light bulbs in the office using the reception room light fixture. 

My assistant said, you can just shake them to see if they are good.  I smiled and said, you like digging these holes (humor).

I was testing LED bulbs, not incandescent bulbs.

Air Conditioner - Pillar #1

I mentioned I was helping a widow with an A/C issue.

Bob started telling me who I should use, ABC Co. is good – just call them (this was a home A/C company). 

I said, Bob, this is an Auto A/C not home A/C. Now, do you have a recommendation?